No, it’s not what you think. Although the mind does boggle slightly.

Among the things I miss most about our apartment in New York is my cocktail kit. Nothing fancy: a simple Boston-style shaker, a solid bar glass, a measure, a strainer and a freezer full of cold, hard ice next to a good-sized sink with running (and, er, drinkable) water. That, and a shelf of sporadically gathered bottles of booze and a bowl of fresh fruit. I’m very happy to improvise in less ideal circumstances, however, and our trip has already been livened up by the occasional scratch Pisco sour and one deeply confused Qantas air steward facing a request for ginger beer, a shot of dark rum, and a fistful of lime slices.

Airline lounges, however, present a specific problem. Good ones raise the spirits with an array of fine bottles of booze and lots of shiny glassware, but there are often strange holes where delicious drinks might otherwise be: only tiny slices of lemon (for example) or nothing to improvise a shaker out of, or if there is a shaker (hello LA!) no sink to rinse if out. We have often been reduced to drinking straight champagne which, as you can imagine, is a deep penance.

So, with no further ado, here is the list of cocktails that you normally can make in airline lounges (and thank you once again, dear employer, for granting me my BA gold card with all that transatlantic travel!)

• Firstly, anything you can get served in your university bar: gin ‘n tonic, vodka ‘n tonic, rum ‘n coke, vodka n’coke, whisky n’water blah blah blah boring boring boring. (although for those who haven’t tried dark rum n’tonic it actually works surprisingly well)
• First call, therefore, is an improvised classic champagne cocktail: sugar from the coffee counter sachets (in place of cube sugar) a half shot of good cognac and top it up with the ubiquitous champagne. See photo below, however…
• Tequila sunrise. Old school! There often seems to be grenadine in these places for some 80’s reason. And always tequila, and always bottles of plastic orange juice. Result! (particularly if you happen to be in Miami and therefore able to get away with it, which we were)
• The classic martini. There’s always gin / vodka; there’s always martini; there are usually olives. The only challenge is finding enough ice to make the damned things cold enough to drink without wincing
• Prepared beers. OK, so these haven’t really caught on outside that weird restaurant on the Lower East Side. Beer (preferably Mexican), lots of tabasco, tequila, salt and pepper. Let’s just say it’s an acquired taste, but actually rather good with food

Beyond that you start to struggle. That said, I guess we do have a while yet to perfect this strangely specific life skill. Any further suggestions on a postcard please!

(on tasting) “Hang on, are there angostura bitters in this champagne cocktail?” What a great girl!