Kazakhstan is Best Country in the World!
Well, we are in Kazakhstan at last. For avid students of our route, we have left Uzbekistan, are avoiding risky Tajikistan, are heading to Turkistan (a town in Kazakhstan – keep up) and are then off to Kyrgyzstan, skirting Pakistan and Afghanistan. Phew!

We crossed the Uzbek / Kazakh border in our usual post-engagement style – symbolically walking hand in hand into no mans’ land and the future. Incidentally, the first time we did this we made it about ten yards before we were told that walking was banned in no mans’ land and we were shoved into a minibus, both of us jammed into the honorific front seat with all our luggage. We were then driven off at speed with our faces squashed into the backboard by our huge rucksacks. I’m not sure what this signifies but I’m sure it’s very romantic, right?

So, Kazakhstan eh? It’s an odd place. Not Borat odd, but…

A simple borderland misunderstanding over a bus fare and a $5 bill led to us being rescued by a deeply helpful Kazakh mother and son duo. They changed our dollars into Tenge, paid our bus fare, invited us to stay in their home and, when we politely refused a bed for the night from perfect strangers, tried to give us money for our travels. One life story later “I was once married to a Kyrgyz girl; the Krygyz are all very ugly people” they arranged for a tiny babushka with few teeth and less English to guide us on the next stage of our journey. We were headed to the town of Turkistan (two hours bus ride away), and after ten minutes of wandering back and forth she safely delivered us to the Turkistan Guest House, gave us a gold toothed grin and ambled on.

Finally arriving in Turkistan we headed to the local fort / mausoleum complex to be set upon by … a teenage bride and groom, a videographer with two cameras and about forty shouting men in armour with spears. The language barrier is a wonderfully permeable thing, but it took us some time to work out that (i) the couple were shooting their wedding video separate from the date of their wedding (ii) their mate with the video camera thought it would be hilarious if Lucy and I were to pretend to be foreign news correspondents reporting on the wedding of the century and (iii) the men with spears were separately rehearsing for a feature film and of course we were welcome – what was it about the weapons and shouting that made us think otherwise?

We retired hurt with our brains melting to a hotel room complete with soothing bottles of beer and Game of Thrones on iTunes. Next stop, the vowel-challenged republic of Kyrgyzstan!