Author Archives: Lucy

Vegas Baby – Yeah!

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I have a theory about Vegas. It’s a town that reflects your mood (am I hippy enough to say your energy??) in a super accentuated kind of way. If you let it, it can really, really bring you down. Who hasn’t felt a little concerned for the state of the human race after a half mile stroll through a casino? Watching a typically massively overweight person feeding electronic quarters (cash is so passé) into the one arm bandit whilst slurping on a super size soft drink. Dead eyes everywhere you look broken only by the green eyed stares of the deeply envious as someone wins big (given they’re playing the quarter machines, maybe up to …oooh, $150….). Or watching the impact of a licensing law that allows – shock horror – drinking on the streets. Cue half yard frozen slushy margaritas and all day amateur drinking hour. Realizing that in this town, given the quirks of Nevada state law, an 18 year old can legally watch the naked girly shows, but not the topless ones (these are licensed to serve alcohol, which the naked bars aren’t, so an 18 year old is denied entry…).

Sure, it has its issues. But here’s a confession. I kind of love Vegas. I could pretend that it’s all down to the new sophisticated image of the town, fine quality dining and world class shows. And yes, we ate great food whilst we were there (albeit at a Thai restaurant in a strip mall – considered the best Thai food in North America but maybe not quite what the Vegas tourism board had in mind). And we have seen some truly remarkable shows there too (this time, Mystere by Cirque du Soleil, which, annoying and slightly pointless baby theme aside, was wonderful in the sense that it genuinely left us both full of wonder…just how long does it take to develop abs like those….??!!). We even checked out a Chihuly exhibition and only turned down Monet for lack of time.

But to be honest what I really love about Vegas is its sheer undaunted brassiness. It’s a town built for people to have fun without even the smallest thought for taste or decorum. It’s big, bold and vaguely psychedelic – they have acre sized fountains tuned to music, a miniature Eiffel tower AND Empire State building, an animatronic giant singing frog (in the “classy” Wynn hotel believe it or not), a volcano that explodes every hour!! How can you not love THAT?

It’s just that you have to fight for your good times. Hold on (hard) to your sense of whimsy and pretend the bad stuff (I’m looking at you, Treasure Island pirate show that has been revamped with a sexy-siren sing-and-dance-off….urrrggghhh) just isn’t there.

Or just bugger it, get a half yard frozen pina colada and go win some big bucks.

Canyonlands

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Leaving the wide open plains of Texas and New Mexico behind us, we started on the part of our US roadtrip which I’d been most excited about – a tour through the Canyonlands scenery of Arizona and Utah. Some of you may have heard of the Grand Canyon – well, this is just one part of a wider tract of land which was subject to a rather large seismic shift a few million years ago. The shift, acting as it did on an area of sedimentary rock, shifted whole tranches of the land up and down and side to side, creating canyons, mountains, and weirdy beardy poky bits along the way. Or that’s my interpretation anyway… those of you with a basic geology knowledge are likely reeling with horror…

Alternatively, if you’d prefer, the great flood came along, Noah filled his boat with provisions (including plenty meat for the carnivores), and as the flood subsided, the sheer power unleashed created the Grand Canyon. Plus assorted other weirdy beardy poky bits as above. Never let it be said that I’m narrow minded.

Anyway, the upshot of all this geological / biblical activity is some truly spectacular rock. I promise that’s more exciting than it sounds……

Our Canyonlands debut was in Monument Valley, traditional home of the Navajos (and, given it’s in scrub desert and has no natural resources and precious little in the way of life-supporting environment, it’s an area of land that has been generously ceded by the US to the Navajo nation). We were staying at the View hotel, and yes it was very aptly named, no ability to complain to the Advertising Standards Authority there. We has the most amazing stay – great scenic drive through the monuments, watching the light change from our balcony as the sun set and the stars rose, and then getting up at dawn to wrap ourselves in Navajo blankets and watch the sun rise over the red stone towers. Probably my happiest time yet on the trip.

So encouraged were we by this whole room with a view lark that we attempted to repeat the experience at the Grand Canyon, choosing to stay at the North Rim (rather than the more usual South Rim) due both to my total hatred of other people getting in the way of MY views (James assured me this might be a problem at the South Rim…one of the most visited sites in the States) and the promise of a Rim view lodge. Unfortunately, the room dematerialized on (five hour long) route, leaving us to the tragic fate of having to stay on the hotel verandah drinking cocktails to get our fill of canyon-ey goodness instead. Life’s tough. We did also get up at sunrise here, but what with it being a canyon and all (and it being FREEZING cold), the views were actually more spectacular during the middle of the day. Which was fine as the North Rim is so high that midday temperatures are pleasantly mild.

Same cannot be said for Bryce or Zion National Parks, our two next destinations. Here the thermometer clears 100 fahrenheit in the heat of the day making hiking at best a sticky and miserable experience and at worst fatal. Our solution was to hike in the early morning, starting at say seven to complete a half decent hike by eleven or twelve before the heat really kicked in, before driving on to wherever we needed to be in the afternoon heat. Worked a treat and left us feeling very virtuous after a week of six a.m. rises and lots of hearty hiking. The views in both these parks are amazing. Bryce is like a sci fi set designer’s fantasy of another planet, with great pink and yellow sandstone “hoodoos” (long vertical how-on-earth-did-they-develop? spires), the most remarkable scenery I have even seen. Zion is sort of like a classical (and amazing) mountain-based park only all of the mountains are bright red, contrasting with the lush river valley below. Here we hiked Angel’s Landing, a steep and almost entirely undeveloped path over sheer rock with steep drop offs at either side. Terrified as I was (and believe me, I was!), the views were amazing and totally worth it.

An incredible week in some amazing locations and, after the food and drink excesses of the South, great to get back to a simpler existence.

Next up: Vegas and then California!

Adobe, Art and Aliens….

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…Traveling through New Mexico

The road from Dallas took us west over some of the most deserted land I’ve seen for a while.  The distances are so huge that you have to be reasonably careful about planning your route – a “short” detour here to see something half cool can add several hundred miles to the journey.

Coincidentally (honest guv’nor), our route took us through Roswell, home of the first of the mainstream UFO / government cover up incidents back in the 1940s.  I kind of wanted to see this anyway, expecting a town full of slightly bad taste alien paraphernalia.  Alas, it was all actually pretty restrained, with only the occasional alien lamp-post and Coke machine (sorry Tekla) to remind us what we were here for.  There’s an enthusiastic museum which certainly leaves the impression that something was covered up, though who knows what.  The truth is out there….

Next stop Santa Fe, a very beautiful town consisting almost entirely of unpainted, earth toned adobe houses that reminded me a little of….well, Mexico.  Funny that.  It’s also home to the Georgia O’Keefe museum (she painted almost entirely in New Mexico in her later life), which gave us a much needed burst of culture before we headed off for some New Mexican cuisine – gotta love staying in a town where tacos are actually an authentic part of the cuisine and culture!

Going Solo

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[In a driving kind of way, you understand. Don’t panic, haven’t got rid of James… yet…]

I’m getting pretty cotton pickin’ good at this here driving lark.

I’ve driven a couple thousand miles, including (between the two of us) two or three 6-8 hour driving days [gasp of horror from UK audience / so what? from the US readers]. OK, most of it on incredibly long, straight, long, straight, long, straight roads where a mild bend in the road is a cause for some excitement and the appearance of another car leads to giddy euphoria, whilst in between times, audio books keep us just the right side of sane.

But still. I’ve crossed 15 states (and one District). I’ve experienced all the climactic challenges the southern United States in summertime can throw at me. Sun so bright it blinds. Nights so dark other cars’ headlights blind. Thunderstorms, lightning and flash flood warnings.

One final frontier remained however. I’d never driven alone.  Where best to break this taboo? Well, I read about a certain road…:

“Although the surface is unpaved, only large RVs and unusually low clearance cars should not make the journey. Heavy rain may temporarily make the road impassable for all but 4WD vehicles, however. The drive is 17 miles long of which 13 miles is a one-way loop, and typical times for the full trip are 2 to 4 hours. 15 mph is the nominal speed limit, and some places are too rocky and bumpy to go any faster, though other sections are quite smooth (with a surface of hard pressed sand), and up to 40 mph is possible.”

How could I say no?!

The road in question is actually the self guided scenic tour of Monument Valley; James unfortunately couldn’t join me on this so the logic for the virgin solo drive became compelling. The conditions are every bit as bad as described and then some, but with the phenomenal views on all sides, who cares? (Well, James, but I got the car back safe and unharmed so he can’t really complain). Driving on my own over rocky twisty turny dirt roads ended up being a blast and an experience I wouldn’t have missed. We’ll post full piccies of Monument later – most were taken on this drive so you’ll see just how amazing it really is.

Through the Keyhole

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[A Glimpse into the Lives of the American Rich and Famous]

Whilst James’ and my trip across the States has devoted much time to achieving (and even more time to relaying) a sense of what the kind might call the intrepid (the less kind the down’n’dirty), we have also tried to make room in our travels to witness that fulcrum of the American dream: the super super rich. This is a nation that has established its own definition of wealth (Beckingham Palace won’t cut it here) – what’s needed is something sufficiently vast, sufficently magical in scale and potency, to drive the engine of American morality. Any man [woman or child] can make it good here. Any inequalities in access to….well, basic healthcare or access to any type of schooling not primarily based on gun control, just serve to winnow out the weak. After all, weren’t we all immigrants once?

Thus far we’ve borne witness to two epic bastions of the American dream: the Vanderbilt family with their legendary legacy of shipping and railroad wealth. And Elvis. Uh huh huh.

Both disappointed just a little. We were hoping for sensational tackiness. Gold bidets. Diamond encrusted serving staff. Hot and cold running Cristal.

We got luxury for sure. Biltmore, the Vanderbilt’s “little summer place” could sleep about 50 guests, with entertainments ranging from the usual country pursuits to an indoor swimming pool (including underwater electric lighting at a time that most people in the US had not yet witnessed the miracle of electricity) and bowling alley (pins set up by the servants between each round). I’m presuming the women were slightly less enthusiastic participants in these pursuits given each one required its own costume, with associated 30-60 minutes changing time. And Vanderbilt certainly pushed the envelope in a few places (takes a brave man to combine gold leaf AND embossed leather on the wall of his own bedroom … ROOOAAAARRRR … I sense had he seen the robes from our DC hotel he’d have been right on ’em). All in though, the place was rather (depressingly) lovely and, given that these guys were the Michael Jackson cum Madonna cum Posh Spice of their age, sufficiently remote to categorically ensure the privacy of the family (even the most determined paparazzi would find it tricky to sneak past the estate’s 1,800 employees).

Not quite next stop (but hey who’s going to grudge me that?) was Graceland, famed home of Elvis Presley. Now I’d love to say that this too, was absolutely comme il faut, but the poor guy had a certain handicap here (beyond the obvious addiction to prescription drugs and squirrel meat, that is). He last redecorated the place at the height of the decade that fashion forgot. Yep, the seventies. Now, even my beloved ma and pa, creatures of style and taste that they otherwise are, installed acreages of purple shagpile in that decade. So I think we all need to put on our retro disco glasses and look with a little love on the green shagpile coverings (floor, wall AND ceiling) of the Jungle Room and the exuberant African wrappings (floor, wall and ceiling all kind of combine here) of their basement pool room. After all, a King lived here and who would deny him a little nylon-based splendour?

So y’all, I guess the moral of the story is that with true American wealth comes taste, brilliance and the true friends with whom to enjoy your richly earned rewards.

The true American dream.

Uh huh huh.

Critter Watch!

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After the urban jungle that is N’Awlins, we wanted to check out the famous Louisiana bayou – a piece of wetland that is as deeply ingrained a part of the Southern myth as paddleboats, Mark Twain and slavery and yet faces extinction within the next 50 years as our ability to control our environment ever grows. That part of the landscape that has formed the backbone of protection for Louisiana against hurricane damage for the last millenium before falling (no really) to the onslaught of the state and federal flood protection programmes. Roll up folks, see it before it’s too late.

We felt a fortifying lunch was in order – three courses of fried food with fantastic swamp views coming up. Our feeling on the importance of this preparatory measure was confirmed when the resident (wild) gator popped up half way through lunch to say hello – unfortunately no photos, but take my word for it, he was a handsome, if weed bedecked, beastie.

Thus set up for our ordeal, we set off for swamp heartland over the treacherous [wheelchair accessible] raised wooden boardwalks. Photos are below (courtesy of James).

And On the 7th Day, God Made the Creation Museum

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America is a diverse country. Full of the bright, the beautiful and the downright bonkers. Having covered off bright (Washington) and beautiful (Skyline / Blue Ridge), we felt it high time for something a little less serious. We already knew where might fit the bill and in fact had spent some time in NYC working out how to fit this particular gem into our trip: the Creation Museum just outside Cincinnati, Ohio. Yep, that Cincinnati, Ohio. The one about 300 miles north of our ending point coming off the Blue Ridge Parkway. And also about 300 miles north of Nashville, Tennessee, our next scheduled hunting ground. Small detour then … but worth it we thought not only for the museum, but for the opportunity to pass through the famous Kentucky bluegrass country afterwards.

For those of you who haven’t yet heard of this esteemed establishment, it is, simply speaking, a museum which portrays the views of the Creationist movement – an increasingly prevalent movement in the United States which believes in a literal interpretation of the Bible. Amongst the key truths espoused by Creationists are that the world was created by God in six days (well earned rest on the seventh), and that this Creation took place about 6,000 years ago. Those of you who know James and I may by now be suspecting that our attitude towards this may not have been without a certain amount of tongue in cheek-ness. Indeed, several days later, my tongue has only just about begun to straighten back out again.

Yep, we went in prepared to mock.

And yes, we did LOVE the diorama of Adam, Eve and the dinosaurs. AND the depiction of the mammals that COULD have been the starting point for all future mammal species (tiger stripes plus giraffe spots plus a lion mane, anyone?). The learned discussion on how Noah might have designed his ark to avoid too much hard work in the way of pesky animal poo cleaning (well, that’s a pretty important consideration when you have dinosaurs on board) was inspired on oh so many levels.

And no, fundamentally, my mindset hasn’t been changed. I still hold onto that good ole’fashioned view of evolution spurned by the museum in favour of a theory primarily reliant on apparent fossil aging caused by the catastrophic effects of the subsidence of Noah’s flood. Blame it on my scientific mother, engineer father and a maths degree, if you will. Or perhaps on the fact that STILL no-one has been able to explain to me what the carnivores ate on the Ark when two of each animal came in and two came out (I’ve given quite some thought to this one, believe me. Yes, pregnant animals will get you some of the way – though isn’t that kind of cheating? A life is a life and all? – and some frisky bunnies would certainly help too. But enough to be able to satiate the appetite of at least two large and hungry DINOSAURS? I just don’t buy it).

Still, at the end of the day, what the Museum basically sets out to do is to provide a venue for the representation of an alternative viewpoint of how we all got here to the big bang / evolution based model shown in pretty much every mainstream natural history museum you can think of. And you know, I can’t bring myself to laugh at that.

After a heavy day we landed up at our campsite for the night – you’ll already recognize this from one of our backgound pics. A gorgeous setting in the midst of rolling Kentucky hills, surrounded by race horse stables. Eating ribs then settling down for a night by the fire with marshmallows and fine malt whisky, life felt pretty good … And waking up the next morning to send out final leaving emails to our (ex) work colleagues from this beautiful spot in the middle of rural nowhere is a memory that will stay with me for a very long time.

The Open Road

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DC was great.  But you’re not really on a road trip until you’re out on the open road, in some beautiful rural area.  Preferably overtaking a tractor or two for extra authenticity.

Fortunately, DC happens to be very close to two of the USA’s longest and most scenic parkways – the Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Together, these make up about 575 miles of gently (well…for the most part anyway) winding roads passing through some absolutely spectacular countryside – views for miles at every turning point.  To put it into perspective, that’s the same distance as driving from London to Inverness – but all on National Park designated roadways.

In total we spent 3 and a bit days cruising down from DC through West Virginia and down into North Carolina.  We loved it.

The Nature!

Oh yes, lots of nature.  Mainly to be fair in the form of nasty little beasties trying to eat my lunch time sarnies but also some proper stuff.  We saw some men on horses, some ground hogs (is that why it took 3 days?), lots of birds, plenty of insects, a snake (fortunately dead) and 2 dung beetles with requisite ball of dung (JUST managed to avoid the temptation to boot their dung off into the far distance).

We didn’t QUITE see a bear but apparently were about 10 minutes away from having done so. Quite a relief that we didn’t actually as at that point in time we had yet to put in place a formal “peeing your pants doesn’t count if it’s because there’s a bear” amnesty.  Now that’s in place I’m much more relaxed about a potential encounter with possibly the only wild animal who could kill you without blinking yet whose reputation (at least in the UK) is based primarily on the honey loving grizzly from that popular kids TV series, Gentle Ben….

We did however spend the next few days both practicing our bear scaring tactics as well as initiating an advanced awareness testing game of skill: “Spot the Predator”……

The Trees!

Do you like trees? Do you really, really like trees? Are you utterly fanatical about trees? Do you have borderline pathological personality traits regarding trees? Is your name Daniel Simon? Good.  Because on the Blue Ridge Parkway you are going to see a LOT of trees. Our record was probably a four hour section of a six hour hike with a view of … wait for it … trees.

The Great Outdoors!

The drive took us through some amazing countryside, including the famous Shenandoah national park, and for quite some way ran parallel with the Appalachian Trail (this is an INCREDIBLE trail running 2,178 miles up the Eastern Coast of the USA.  Some lunatics have apparently been known to hike the entire trail over the course of a few spare months.  (sans deodorant).  The perfect place to get our hiking on.

Walk 1 was short (well, 2.5 hours), deeply scenic and entirely wonderful.

For walk 2 we wanted a bit more of a challenge, so plumped for a 10.8 mile “moderate” trail, which proved to be a slightly unexpected six hour marathon comprising a steep 2,000 foot vertical descent followed by a (slightly less) steep 2,000 foot vertical ascent.  Through trees.  Did we mention the trees?

Boy we ate well that night.

Such a beautiful area and such a great intro to our road trip – really it’s hard to express in words.  So check out the gallery – the pics really do this part of the trip justice.

The L-Plates come off!

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[Or for those of you who aren’t British – I pass my driving test and am unleashed on an unsuspecting American driving public]

Baby Driver - Simon & Garfunkel at their road trippiest

They say that amongst the most stressful things to go through in life are (i) leaving / changing job; (ii) moving house; and (iii) getting divorced. Well, I am of course a fantastic over-achiever – whilst (i) and (ii) were firmly in reach (see the stress-wrinkles!!), (iii) seemed sadly unlikely given my single status. Hence I decided to throw one more challenge into the mix: how’s about learning to drive? Too easy?? How’s about learning to drive IN MANHATTAN. With a total of 3 WEEKS to get your test.

In all seriousness, this was something I’d always promised James I’d do before we set off together on our RTW trip, incorporating as it does a 2,500+ mile drive across America. Lesson one – starting (in rush hour) on 52nd street before turning down Park Avenue – had me questioning the depth of our relationship: was I really willing to go through this? Really?? Many phone calls / active counselling sessions with my poor unsung parents later, I was calmer. The lessons continued, my prowess (confidence? lack of fear??) grew, and within a few weeks, I was the proud owner of a NY state driving licence (which, for those interested, in its temporary form looks JUST like a receipt. Haven’t accidentally thrown it away…yet).

This was a week before our road trip. Yep, that’s right, a road trip involving all SORTS of challenges rarely seen in a Manhattan driving lesson: motorways, bendy roads, supermarket car parks, calm and non-aggressive drivers (how does it work when no-one cuts you up whilst swearing at you in something very foreign and very fluent?). The challenges are endless. This post, then, is the first of a confessional series. First off the go:

Driving on an interstate [check out the SERIOUS expression]. Turns out I’m a SPEED DEMON. Who knew?!!

Very serious Lucy

Skyline Drive. We’ll post a map of this. Suffice to say: BENDY. Think Alpine roads, then supersize (this is America after all). This puppy has a “runaway truck ramp” – 100m of gently upward sloping gravel bed – coming off it in event of truck-speed-bendiness emergencies! Day one: no-one died. Day two: starting to get the hang of it. I think. Also, no-one died. Bring on day 3!!

Skyline drive

Driving…I guess it ain’t ALL bad.

The Capit(o/a)l

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First stop on the road: Washington DC, a pleasant 4 hour drive or so south of New York. This was the only part of our journey where we had pre-booked a hotel (SEE how intrepid we are), which ended up something of a blessing given that James & Lucy’s timing (we’ll leave NYC by noon) proved a little on the [traditionally] optimistic side (left the island about 4….).

Things we loved about Washington?
Air and Space Museum. Totally insipring uber geeky fabulousness!!! With rockets!!!!Rockets!

The Capitol. Totally awesome building. So awesome it got an epic point from James.Capitol

The gadzillions of american flags and eagles we saw. DC is in the midst of a massive upheaval (job creation programmes anyone?), all of which clearly need some highly visual patriotic support.

Flags 1Flags 2

The White House (but also see below…..)

FDR and Martin Luther King memorials; neither of which we took photos of but we do have a lovely picture of James holding up the Washington Monument taken from just by the FDR memorial. Heaven only knows what’s happened to Washington Monument now he’s gone….

Atlas!

Bikes!! Absolutely the best way to get round DC. James’ notion of running everywhere is clearly daft. Not to mention making me sweat and go red in the face 🙁

Bikes

Art….despite a somewhat tragic looking James (or is that the bull??).

Bull

Last but definitively not least, the totally uber awesome robes in our hotel. RRROOOAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Roaar!

Things we were less fond of?
Everywhere being under construction. This, believe ot or not, is the view down the famous reflecting pond. No reflections, no pond, no happy Lucy. Made up for slightly by HUNDREDS of large diggers 🙂

Reflecting pond

Food in the Air and Space Museum. McDonalds anyone? NYC I miss you already

Space museum food

Crowds at the White House. And the fact that this (we’re on a fairly hefty zoom here) is the closest you can get to it without months of forward planning and a large group tour. Humph.

White House

All in, we loved Washington and, remarkably, after 2 days there, we felt like we’d been on holiday for weeks. Still, you know, at the end of the day it’s a (albeit beautiful and inspiring) city like any other…My heart yearns for the open road…